It’s been a while since my last post. Sitting here @ Starbucks just thinking about what’s been going on recently. I’m pretty broke, and for sometime now I’ve been feeling like a joke. I guess the fact of not getting any paid clients has really impacted my outlook in the past few weeks. I haven’t done too much quiet time with Dad either. Things just seem to swim on by.
Recently I’ve (Emphasis on the I in I’ve and not things) been moving forward again in regards to the business and slowly my walk with Dad. There’s still a huge factor that I’m still unable to overcome when it comes to money and God. I haven’t been relying on God when it comes to this aspect in my life. Constantly my culture clashes with the idea that God will provide and not my own hard work. I was always taught that there is no faith factor when it comes to earning your own living. It’s all about how many hours you put into your work that ultimately provides the food on your table. What it really should be is, faith and works combined; I have to do as well as believe, but I constantly struggle with I either don’t believe and I work or I believe and I stop working. It’s horrible and it’s still tearing me apart.
I don’t want to continue to live an ego centric life. I know that it’s a combination of me placing my faith in God and that he’s going to continue guiding me as I walk through life. Feelings come and go but God is always there. My prayers will be that I can really live that out instead in my daily life. To continue to have faith when faith is no longer just an abstract idea or though, but when faith becomes concrete. I want God to really shine in my life and reflect.
- So Dad please guide me closer to you. Help me to live my life out reflecting your son as I am living it. Help me to be the salt of this world and not the salt of my own world.
